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Man's Love of Natural Hair |
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Page 1 of 3 Too often, women face an arduous road when they choose the "natural" route to hair care. Family members can be unsupportive and friends lack understanding. And yet, none of this negativity is as damaging as when it is within the most intimate of our relationships; our marriages. Thinking they are truly doing what is right for them, natural haired women find themselves locked in a battle of wills over not something as trivial as hair, but the very definition of who they are and their place in their relationships.
Every so often, I come across someone who has enlightenment spread across them like a beautiful cape. Such was my feeling when I first read the composition below by Nasser Jones. Mr. Jones' assessment of what is really important in life and ultimately what ones goal is as a man is at once heartfelt and honest, for he is one man and all men.
If you need encouragement or your journey has been made more difficult because of your spouse/significant other, share the letter below with those you love and with those who love you.
One Man's Love Of Natural Hair
by Nasser K. Jones
The day finally came when she cut her hair... it was one of the hardest days of our marriage. I looked at her hair and gave her the compliant smile and nod of approval but inside I was dying. I thought, "how am I going to muster the strength to support something I am totally against."
As perceptive as women are, she saw right through my half-hearted approval. She was really hurt and confused because she was torn. She was torn between a husband who she wanted to please and what she felt she had to do for herself.
The first week was tough because change is tough. Everyone at times struggles with change and our house was not exempt. I could see her struggle tearing her up from the inside out. It seemed like a week before we came to terms with the new "do."
I started thinking to myself, "if my love for this woman is dependant on her hairstyle, what does that say about me as a husband who is supposed to support his wife in any decision she makes?" After I realized what a buffoon I was making out of myself, I apologized. I started thinking of ways to support her in this transition in her life.
This is where the story takes a turn...
In our marriage I have been the one who pretty much kept things upbeat and lively. My wife, in my opinion, never seemed fully content with herself. This is not abnormal in our society as the many demands we place on women to fit into some fabricated mold, especially Black women.
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